~ Out of Darkness ~

Frustrations,

anxiety - expectations - deflating of soul -

fill me up

like a brewing whirlwind spinning in

chaos

shaking me, as I shake my head

wondering

where is gratitude in

moments

such as these?

Where, in my daily

discipline of

writing, searching, hunting, seeing

gratitude

is it now - in ugly moments?

In these dark storms of life, billowing - engulfing?

Not every

fleeting second is filled with

sweet sugar on top ...

as I am

knocked down once in awhile, left in

darkness

leaving me to wonder - where is it?

But then it comes to me ...

regardless

of what is spinning around me,

even in between all of the moments that are ugly,

something

is still there to see - claim - write.

I dig deep.  Really deep.

The invisible

becomes visible once more ...

slowly coming into view

at first difficult to find with blood boiling within,

but in the ugly - beauty is there.

Transformed.

Gratitude is always silently existing in its own quiet realm ... just waiting.

For us. 

For us to choose.

To claim it.

And then I remember

words that quench my

parched soul ...

"Above the clouds

Light

never stops shining."

-Ann Voskamp

Out of darkness

I

surface.

In these moments of ugly, I find it ...

Him.

Carrying me when I am knocked down.

Strength to keep enduring.

Love filled when nothing else can.

When nothing seems visible in my world

around me,

there is always Him.

Eyes unveiled -

to His

love for me - in all the thousand and one ways

already existing.

His proof of love for me - for all of humanity. 

Visible proof.

I surface - out of darkness

into

the Light and see.